The Seraphim are genetically engineered child slave-soldiers and the fact that no one even aknowledges this not only ruins the single potentially interesting thing about them, it's character assassination of the Straw Hats.

The Seraphim might have actually topped Absalom as the worst characters in One Piece for me.

The Seraphim by their essence are one of the most boring additions ever to One Piece, strong contender for most boring. Recycled characters meshed with recycled DF abilities, with none of the history, characterisation, ambitions, dreams, dynamic with other characters or build up that the originals had; they are complete non-characters, arguably worse than Edo Tensei.

But then we notice that they are not just unfeeling robots like the Pacifista, they display emotions, personalities, have their own quirks. Zoro straight up says that S-Hawk is different from Mihawk because he has some humanity in him. Vegapunk says that they retain some degree of personality.

So let's get this straight:

• They are genetically engineered super-soldiers;

• They are literal children;

• They have human intelligence;

• They have displayed multiple times that they have personalities and feelings, strongly implying some level of sentience;

• Despite being sentient, feeling people, they can be ordered to fight or do whatever else by government authorities and must obligatory comply due to how they were programmed, irrespective of what the action is. They are literal slaves.

So, this has the potential to be something interesting, right? How do the Seraphim feel about being created as slave war machines? Could they be against performing an order? If so, could they resist the order on any level or would they be forced to perform it against their will regardless? Is it fucked up of Vegapunk to have created them and of other characters like Fujitora and Coby being fine with using them? HINT: YES, YES IT IS OBVIOUSLY HORRENDOUSLY FUCKED UP, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT CHILD SLAVERY IS BAD.

Does any of this ever get brought up? You can bet your ass it doesn't. Their personalities and feelings are only there to make them more quirky and interesting, they serve no other purpose. Characterisation and themes can get fucked, what's so bad about a little child slavery between friends?

Hey, Zoro, you noticed S-Hawk has humanity, right? Maybe you find this a bit disturbing, you know, how you are fighting an actual child slave? No? Cool.

Oh, Jimbe! My man, you spent the better part of your life fighting slavery with Fisher Tiger, you still bear the mark of the Sun Pirates! Hell, you led the Sun Pirates after Fisher Tiger. Spare some sympathy for the child slaves forced to fight deadly battles for the government, the exact same government that enslaved your people? What, you don't care? Great.

But wait, you there, mr. Warrior of Liberation, freer of slaves, surely you'll have a few choice words (and fists) for the guy who created these children for the single purpose of war slavery, right? Oh, no, sorry, you're 100% cool with him. Superb.

But you, Chopper, always giving the moral grandstanding about human experimentation and specially about forcefully experimenting on children, I remember how mad you were at Caesar in Punk Hazard for having slave child subjects. Surely you have something to say here...Oh, you have no issue at all with the genetically engineered child slaves? Wonderful.

What about you, Nami, protector of children, who was ready to do anything to save the children of Punk Hazard, who was angry beyond belief at Ulti for hitting a child, surely you must have something to say about these literal child slaves being forced to fight to the death against powerful grown adults? I mean, considering you were literally enslaved as a child by a guy who was explicitly copying the slavery and exploitation the Celestial Dragons, the guys at the top of the organization the Seraphim are slaves to, SURELY you must have some really strong opposition against this??? Oh, you don't give a shit? You only care about the artificial diamonds? Amazing.

But you, Sanji, whose horrible cartoon nazi father literally worked on this research with Vegapunk in the past and also made genetically modified child slave-soldiers who were unable to go against his orders and- I CAN'T CONTINUE THIS BIT. IT'S THE SAME SHIT IT'S LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME SHIT JUDGE DID TO HIS SONS SANJI INCLUDED, the very reason you grew up traumatized and your brothers turned out as monsters, SURELY you must have something to say about this, right????? RIGHT???? Oh, no, you don't give a shit and actually you're perfectly happy and enthusiastic about beating the shit out of one of them.

PEAK FICTION